The relationships that we form with those around us are vital to the happiness that we have during our life. However, your attitude towards them or a difference of opinion can cause anger and mistrust, which then creates a rift between the two of you. Understanding their position and apologizing for your actions towards them are a few steps to repairing the bond you have with them. Here are six ways to repair your family ties.
Try To Understand Where They Are Coming From
When you have a disagreement with a loved one, it can be a challenge to see what occurred from their point of view. The argument could stem from something as simple as a difference of opinion over 1950 census records to an actual physical confrontation. However, once you reach the point in your life that you want to make amends with them, the first step is to review what happened the way they experienced it.
This process can help you see where you may have erred or how you may have offended them. This is essential to be aware of if you want to make peace with them and repair your relationship permanently. If you are unsure of what you may have done, talk with a friend or family member about it. They may be able to help you look at that moment objectively and understand what your actions were that hurt the other person.
Talk With a Professional To Understand Yourself Better
Another way for you to see how your words or actions harmed someone else is by setting an appointment with a therapist to talk about what happened between you. This professional is an objective third party who will listen to what you say and discuss it with you. They can counter with their own questions which allow you to see the interactions between you and your loved one in a different point of view. These meetings can help you grow as an individual and improve all the interactions that you have with others.
Look around your community for counselors who have experience with these types of relationships. You want one that will hear what you want to speak about instead of being determined to fix the way you feel about things. You can also ask your friends and family if they can suggest someone or look at comments left by previous patients. When you find someone that you think that you will be comfortable with, call to schedule an appointment with them that fits into your schedule. Be aware that you will more than likely have to meet with them more than once.
Apologize To Your Loved One About What Happened
When you are emotionally ready, make an attempt to reach out to your loved one. You must understand that, depending on the severity of the situation, they may refuse to meet with you face to face. In this situation, you can write what you feel in a card and mail it to them so that they can read it when they are ready. Whether it is in person or in written form, be sure that your apology to them is sincere and from your heart.
You must be prepared to take responsibility for what you believe you have done. Prevent yourself from pointing the finger at them for their actions. You must be focused on your desire to repair whatever issues happened between you and forget what they did or said to you that made you upset. You may get an immediate reaction from the other party or you might hear nothing. Whatever occurs, have patience with them and attempt to move on with your life until the moment comes that they want to hear you out.
Offer Methods To Improve Your Relationship With Your Loved One
Before you reach this point of the process, you more than likely underwent some deep reflection of yourself. You probably discovered traits that you have that may have ignited the disagreement that you had with your loved one. When the channels of communication between the two of you do open up again, you should explain how you intend to improve yourself.
You can then explain how you intend to prevent another altercation like the one you had with them from occurring again. Illustrate for them how you hope to improve on your behaviors. Seeing you going the extra mile for them may open them up to reconciliation and strengthen your relationship. These new habits can also improve the bonds you have with other family members and friends as well. Knowing and bettering yourself can lead to a happier, more fulfilled life and you may be able to repair your family ties.
Find a Time and Location Where You Both Can Talk About How You Feel
The channels of communication have opened and you both have agreed to meet so you can talk more in person. Select a location that the two of you will be comfortable in and is neutral ground to both parties. This means you should steer clear of properties that are owned by your close friends or relatives or theirs. Do take their suggestions into consideration and be flexible about what they want. Being somewhere where everyone feels safe will lend to a more productive discussion. You may want to pick someplace public, such as a restaurant or coffee shop. This will keep your and their emotions in check and prevent either of you from shouting. Causing a ruckus in a spot like this will create embarrassment for you both and is something you will wish to avert.
You can also think about sitting down together with a professional so that they can mediate your discussion and tone down any feelings that could erupt. Listen to what they have to say and keep an open mind about it. Hold yourself in check so that you keep yourself from defending your actions that hurt them or blame them entirely for what occurred.
Come To Peace With the Outcome While you Try to Repair your Family Ties
You hopefully will reunite with your loved one through this process. It may take some additional time to get to a point where you are completely comfortable with each other. The more open you are with one another, the stronger your bond will become. However, it may also happen that your family member wants to sever the tie they have with you permanently. They may ignore your apology or reject it altogether. This can be difficult to manage yet may still be a good thing for you.
The process has opened your eyes to who you are as an individual. It has given you the opportunity to explore your past with the help of a counselor and to determine how to improve what you have thought or done so that you can be a better person to others. There is also the chance that, in the future, your loved one will have a change of heart and want to start over again with you. The bonds that you have with your family are ones you will cherish for a lifetime. However, a misinterpreted conversation or action can break those ties apart. Reflecting on yourself as an individual, apologizing for what you have done, and listening to what they have to say can bring you back together again and repair your family ties.